10 Questions We Have for the Freedom Foundation Now That We Know They Protest Labor Day

The Freedom Foundation is Scroogey about Labor Day.The Washington-based Freedom Foundation does a lot of bizarre things in their efforts to undermine workers’ rights to organize for good jobs. This might be one of the weirdest.

We found out that the Freedom Foundation staff refuses to acknowledge Labor Day, and in protest, goes to work on the federal holiday (while many of us who are lucky enough to have the privilege, will be enjoying our long weekend).

Labor Day exists to reflect on and celebrate the achievements of workers and organized labor  — achievements that have made all of our lives better. We — and most Americans — are proud of the things workers have done and are currently doing to make our nation function at its best.

So, yeah, we were confused by the Freedom Foundation’s protest, and we have a few questions for them:

  1. What 19th Century labor policy should we bring back first: child labor or the elimination of lunch breaks?
  2. Workers today are rallying against unpredictable hours and “clopening”; what if we put cots in the workplace and just NEVER LET THEM LEAVE?
  3. Debtors’ Prisons: Good idea or BEST IDEA EVER?
  4. Did you prefer the pre-ghost version of Ebenezer Scrooge?
  5. Should we have a counter-protest to the “Fight for $15?” “Side with $6” would look good on a sign, right?
  6. Would David and Charles Koch look out-of-place leading a protest?
  7. Do David or Charles know how to use a bullhorn?
  8. Were any union builders involved in the construction of your offices? Does that possibility keep you up at night?
  9. Instead of paying legally required overtime, how about just HALVING pay to punish workers who couldn’t get extra work done in time?
  10. How do you intend to market the anti-paid sick days position to restaurant-goers? Have you considered branding the sneezes of ill workers as some fancy side concoction like Creamy Sriracha or Wild Buffalo Ranch?